I'm still worried about Syd and what path to take with him. At the IEP meeting I asked for an IQ test and a full psycho-educational work up. (October is turning into a long month. There is nothing quite like having to wait for others to catch up, while you try repeatedly to communicate what you see and fail because you are speaking Greek. I feel like Cassandra and that dude who said Beware of Greeks and their gifts.... just watching and waiting.) Thanks to his lack of work in one class and the health issues, I may get what I want. Now I pray for him to take the test and reveal his true potential. Today Syd entertained me by getting a hold of one of those steel manipulative puzzles. I showed him it could be done so Syd spent the remainder of our wait one upping me by taking it apart and putting it back together repeatedly.
Bella's different, so much like Daniel that I can't get into her brain. Hers is a motivational issue that I can't crack. I wish I could just get through to her. All Bella wants is to read and think all day. But I can't seem to unlock her brain and get to her motivational core. I speak to future, hopes, wants, desires, consequences, and so forth anything to get her attention. so far, nothing. At least Syd likes video games, I don't even have that with Bella. If only there was something that excited her. Sparked an interest. ANYTHING! I might feel more hopeful. I'm sure the answer is somewhere around the corner if I just watch long enough, she'll reveal the solution. More prayer and meditation and perhaps I'll see the solution glaring me in the face. Then again, perhaps Daniel will. He sees differently than me.
Talking about my worries sometimes feels like I'm complaining but, to me, I'm searching and analyzing. Looking for answers in the hope that I might stumble upon a the answers as I try to see the whole puzzle. I wish I could just pull Sydney and Bella and home school both... perhaps that is the answer. More analysis is needed. It's certainly easier than trying to work with the school. It irritates me to deal with people who aren't even close to my intelligence that won't listen to me.
A solution must be found. Perhaps in looking for the good in others, rather than their shortcomings, I may find it. Solutions are discovered in the unlikeliest places. Peace is found in accepting what is and striving to work within it.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Peaceful evening
Today was the first of two days of Fall break for Sydney. He played with his buddy and went to scouts. At the end of the evening, we read scriptures and then, The Lord of the Rings. Both children went down hard afterwards. Out cold in no time at all. Daniel and I spent a quiet evening just enjoying the quiet. Fall break feels good.
The day was quiet and calm. The children are asleep and have been calm all day. I like calm and quiet. I like hugs, smiles, and real play where everyone has fun.
My worries may still be on my mind but, I'm more at peace with them. Heavenly Father will do what he will do and I need to figure out how to play my role in His designs. I need to trust that things happen the way they are supposed to. Then just let go and watch God work in all of our lives.
The day was quiet and calm. The children are asleep and have been calm all day. I like calm and quiet. I like hugs, smiles, and real play where everyone has fun.
My worries may still be on my mind but, I'm more at peace with them. Heavenly Father will do what he will do and I need to figure out how to play my role in His designs. I need to trust that things happen the way they are supposed to. Then just let go and watch God work in all of our lives.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Struggling tonight
I scored an A in each class and perhaps I'm just dealing with post vacation blues. But, tonight, I fight the inner darkness yet again. It's like if I'm not actively studying and into brain stimulation, I feel like I'm suffocating or starving.
Last night I managed to beat Syd at chess, it was difficult. (Then again, I'm not that good.) It's nice the kids are starting to come into their own. But they are still little people and don't see the long term. They don't know why I am as protective of them as I am at this crucial juncture.
Writing seems to be helping. Staying distracted does too. Tomorrow is Syd's IEP meeting and I'm not looking forward to it. More speech therapy without addressing the too gifted for his own good aspect. I have a 146 IQ and I can't keep up with him some days. How do I tell a room full of teachers, "By the way that boy has at least 30 IQ points on you, if not more." ? It's frustrating that I can't seem to communicate the urgency of intervention.
Then again, I fear the best intervention is to just pull him and let him teach himself. That's how Bella learns best. But Syd is far more social... I don't know how we managed a child with social skills when neither of us have any to speak of. The rare genius with social skills. He's a miracle and a conundrum.
Bella's much easier for me to understand. Lost in her own brain most of the time until roused by something that interests her. I'm half tempted to just get her a GED book and tell her she can go to college when she can pass the test. It may be the only way to get her through school. Either way, she's going to struggle with social skills until her age peers catch up to her. They might never do it.
Wow, this talking on paper really helped tonight. No wonder I was down, I'm worried. I just don't know what to do with them. Each path feels like a misstep.....
KMH
Last night I managed to beat Syd at chess, it was difficult. (Then again, I'm not that good.) It's nice the kids are starting to come into their own. But they are still little people and don't see the long term. They don't know why I am as protective of them as I am at this crucial juncture.
Writing seems to be helping. Staying distracted does too. Tomorrow is Syd's IEP meeting and I'm not looking forward to it. More speech therapy without addressing the too gifted for his own good aspect. I have a 146 IQ and I can't keep up with him some days. How do I tell a room full of teachers, "By the way that boy has at least 30 IQ points on you, if not more." ? It's frustrating that I can't seem to communicate the urgency of intervention.
Then again, I fear the best intervention is to just pull him and let him teach himself. That's how Bella learns best. But Syd is far more social... I don't know how we managed a child with social skills when neither of us have any to speak of. The rare genius with social skills. He's a miracle and a conundrum.
Bella's much easier for me to understand. Lost in her own brain most of the time until roused by something that interests her. I'm half tempted to just get her a GED book and tell her she can go to college when she can pass the test. It may be the only way to get her through school. Either way, she's going to struggle with social skills until her age peers catch up to her. They might never do it.
Wow, this talking on paper really helped tonight. No wonder I was down, I'm worried. I just don't know what to do with them. Each path feels like a misstep.....
KMH
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